5 Ways You Can Help Your Girl be True to Her Fabulous Self!

Posted on June 14, 2010 by admin

1. Accept Your Mistakes –

There is a very loud message out there that says (or should I say screams) that girls and women should be perfect, and if for some reason you feel as though you are not perfect enough than the market seems to have every “fix-it” available to help bring you to perfection. All of this pressure can make a girl scared or anxious to even make the slightest mistake and therefore, keep her from letting her true (fabulous) self shine. Next time you make a mistake, keep your response in check and consider the example you are setting. Try not to label yourself as an idiot, not good enough or totally lose it and instead show her that mistakes or errors are not the end of the world, but rather a time when we can learn and be even more prepared for the next challenge.

2. Use Your Voice and Speak Up –

We live in a world that says girls are nice 24/7. We shouldn’t get angry, we should never be mean, we should hold in our feelings to bring the peace and we should put our own wishes, needs and wants aside for others. In a girl world that avoids conflict we do not get much permission or practice to learn how to say no. In a sense, we never get a chance to build that muscle up and these are important muscles for our girls to have. So not only do we want our girls to know and understand how and what they are feeling, we also want them to be able to put a voice to their feelings and act on them. Imagine your girl implementing this crucial skill in her relationships and in the workplace in the future! Now that is powerful stuff!

3. 3. Be a Little Selfish –

Not only are our girls up against the perfect girl culture, but moms are up against the perfect mom culture too! Do something for yourself even if it means not being available to drive a carpool shift. Letting your girl down is not easy, but in the long run it says that I have a mother who takes care of herself and leads a balance life. At the same time it allows you to refuel so you can better take care of yourself and your family.

4. Share Your Feelings –

Girls who share how they are feeling, let others know what they need and are less likely to lose control over their own behavior. Use emotion words with your daughter to model comfort with a wide array of feelings and help build her emotional vocabulary. Learning to manage and navigate through her emotional world will give her more confidence in herself and help her empathize and connect better with others.

5. Get In Touch With Your Inner Dork -

Many girls feel most in touch with their true self when they are being silly, crazy or goofy. They might make up silly dances, practice crazy faces or love to sing [loudly] in the car along with their favorite song. At some point in or around late elementary school, this behavior might become “lame” and suddenly they feel that acting older will make them cooler. So they shut down silliness, begin to disconnect from who they are and try to be something they’re not. Step into this void to help keep the silliness alive. Let go of the “perfect” rules and instead, dance in the kitchen, sing loudly in the car, or make silly faces together. Your body will thank you for making the time to have a great big belly laugh and difficult situations might just seem a little less difficult.

*Art Tip* Create an “I am Strong” box and fill it with affirmations such as I am worth it, I am confident, I have relevant things to say, etc. along with internal qualities you possess that make you who you are (caring, loving, kind, passionate, sensitive, good friend, strong sense of self, fearless). Do this for yourself, for your daughter or together. Put this box someplace where you can see it to remind you of all the wonderful qualities that you internally possess.

Share your experiences and challenges in helping your girls by leaving a comment below.