Clear Expectations and Consistent Follow-through with Teens is Key

Posted on November 01, 2010 by admin

Sometimes just the act of creating more opportunity for our girls to accept some responsibility shows them that we have faith in their ability and can set the stage for further progress. Start by picking one area of responsibility for your girl to work on.

Maybe it is waking up on her own, making her own lunch, cleaning her room, or a later curfew. Now this is the really important part…make sure to clearly define your expectations, remembering that there is more than one right way, and clearly make your request, demonstrating (if appropriate) specifically what you want done.

The simple act of showing decreases a lot of the fear that might come along with new responsibility. Let your girl know the consequences or a privilege she will earn ahead of time.

For example, after she cleans her room then she can use the computer for an hour, or if she is not home by 10pm on Friday night then she can’t go out next Friday night. Consistency and having confidence in the rules and boundaries you set for your home is key.

Elissa Bowes, MA, ATR-BC, LCAT, a nationally board certified, registered Art Therapist, works with emotionally challenged, and at-risk children, adolescents, adults, and families and as a consultant to organizations throughout New Jersey. Request her FREE report, “Is Your Daughter Driving You NUTS? 10 Things You Must Know To Keep You From Losing Your Mind Or Pulling Out Your Hair In The Process” by visiting www.higherartnj.com .

Discussion: 4 Comments

4 Responses to “Clear Expectations and Consistent Follow-through with Teens is Key”

1. 

   Lon Woodbury

   - 1st Nov, 10 06:11pm

   Well spoken, and this is just common sense. Actually, this is just parenting – its exactly what a parent will do with a little one to develop skills and confidence. The same thing applies to teens also.

2. 

   admin (author comment)

   - 2nd Nov, 10 09:11am

   Thanks Lon! Well said! Sometimes we just need a little reminder

3. 

   nathalie Bartley

   - 2nd Nov, 10 04:11pm

   You are so right, it is sometimes easy to get caught up in the consequences if the task is not done but that is a great idea to introduce something positive as a reward for completing the task. A fresh look can really help break the cycle of negativity that comes with stress.
   thank you
   Nathalie

4. 

   admin (author comment)

   - 3rd Nov, 10 05:11am

   Hi Nathalie! I think you summed it up when you stated, “A fresh look can really help break the cycle of negativity that comes with stress.” Thank you so much for your helpful insight.