Posted on August 10, 2010 by admin

Take some time and think about what your girl needs this year. Does she need extra help and support when managing her anxiety for her big first day of school? With a little scheduling and planning you can help create a sense of predictability and psychological safety for your girl that will ease her anxiety and put those butterflies at bay.

 Create a schedule. Maybe your summer schedule is more relaxed than the scheduled school year. Now is a great time to begin to implement bed time and wake up time. This way the week before school starts bed time and wake up time are less of an issue and you can focus on the more important things….like what to wear! 

1. Is she starting a new school or in a totally different section of the building than last year? Go on an adventure and make an early visit to get the lay of the land. This will ease her anxiety and will give her a visual image of what she can expect on her first day. Does she have a new locker? Visit that too.
2. Sometimes taking that first step into the building or classroom is enough to put her anxiety through the roof. If you have a little one think about creating a playful song that she will remember and sing to herself (or with you). Help her create an “I can do this” attitude with my favorite song, “I am safe and I am strong, take a deep breathe and sing this song. I am feeling strong each day, everything will be OK.” Add your own tune and practice this before school starts…you know you can always create a dance to this one too! If you have an older one and the above mentioned is totally uncool than maybe just a simple mantra of: “I am strong,” “I am confident,” “I can do this” might help. Sticky notes to remind her of how mentally strong and capable she is are always good too. 
3. Create a schedule of what the first day will look like: what time school starts, snack time, lunch, recess, what time school ends. Include who she can go to for help or if she has any questions or concerns. Help her visualize and understand her first day and all of its components. Spice this up with some drawings that she adds. 
4. Share some of your successful first days with her. Let her know that you understand how she feels. Get her involved in this process by exploring options of what she thinks she can do about her anxiety. If some of the solutions come from her she will be more likely to follow through with them. For example, “I can see that you are nervous or a little scared about the first day of school. What do you think we can do to make the first day easier for you? What else can we do?” Even if some of the options are not quite realistic you are encouraging her to use her creative problem solving skills to help her manage her own emotions. What could be more beneficial than that!?! 
5. Make a list (on big poster board) of all the times she was anxious about something and was able to find the strength to get through it. Was she terrified of going to the dentist but did it anyway? Was she scared of getting on the stage for the school play but found her courage and had a stellar performance (or almost stellar)? Celebrate these times with her and remind her that she carries that same strength and courage everywhere she goes. 
6. And last but not least…have that fabulous back to school outfit picked out! But that one we already knew! 

Try these tools with other events in her life that cause anxiety too. This is a great way to teach your girl strategies to help her manage her own anxiety so she can have more fun and worry less! When we face our anxiety and fears and are armed with tools and strategies to overcome them, our fear and anxiety quickly lose their power. Help show your girl that she has more power than her fear and anxiety!

Have additional challenges to face?  Get answers to your specific needs by leaving your comments below.

Elissa Bowes, MA, ATR-BC, LCAT, a nationally board certified, registered Art Therapist, works with emotionally challenged, and at-risk children, adolescents, adults, and families and as a consultant to organizations throughout New Jersey. Request her FREE report, “Is Your Daughter Driving You NUTS? 10 Things You Must Know To Keep You From Losing Your Mind Or Pulling Out Your Hair In The Process” by visiting www.higherartnj.com .