Two Ways to Improve Communication with Your Girl
Posted on April 20, 2010 by admin
The ipod buds are in her ears 24/7, the TV is LOUD, the cell phone is buzzing like crazy with incoming text messages, the computer (or Facebook) sucks up her attention and the bedroom door is shut or should I say SLAMMED!?! You still deeply love her (of course), you are just at a loss for how to connect to your girl who is entering her teenage years faster than you would like. Your daughter needs your L.O.V.E. (perhaps more than ever) even though everything she does seems to push you away. Read on for some tips on how we can continue to share our L.O.V.E with our girls.
Here are 2 simple strategies to help you to continue to share your L.O.V.E with your girl (and other special ones in your life too!)
1. Proud -
Your teenage daughter wants to make you proud. Yup, I said it…with all of the crazy things your daughter does, it is sometimes hard to believe that she is remotely interested in making you proud…but she is. If she feels that she can’t make you proud or get attention in a positive way, she will find a way to get some form of attention, even if it’s negative. So the next time your girl makes a poor decision, try to talk to her and find out what is really going on. If this is not your usual parenting style it may take several encounters for you and your teen to feel comfortable with this approach. They key is consistency. Once your girl sees that this is the way problems are now handled, she will begin to start to open up a little bit more each time. Talk to her out of love for who she is, rather than out of anger or frustration at what she has done. If she is encouraged and positively reinforced to make better decisions, she will be more likely to do more of what makes you proud.
2. Responsibility -
Your girl needs responsibility. If she does not learn to handle responsibility with your guidance now, how will she know what to do once she becomes an adult and no one is there to help her? Responsibility can easily be learned in small steps over periods of time. By giving your girl opportunities to be responsible, you are showing that you trust her which will increase her self confidence as well. Maintaining your focus on this ultimate goal of responsibility will allow for greater growth and development of your girl. As your daughter becomes more and more responsible, following direction will naturally follow. Your daughter wants you to be proud of her and will respond to the positive reinforcement as she achieves higher levels of responsibility.
*Art Tip* Companies and business owners have their own mission statements. Why not create a mission statement for your family? Put it on a poster board where everyone can see it, like the kitchen, and refer to it often. Make this a goal that everyone in your family is working towards. Maybe … "Our family mission is to provide a safe environment where kindness, speaking nicely to one another and responsibility is encouraged." Remember to ask for her input too!
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