Posted on January 12, 2011 by admin

1. Agree on specific times for doing homework and stick to it. Homework time is usually right after school or after school programs. Give your girl a little time to decompress with a check-in or snack and then dig in.

2. Make an agreement with your girl… and write it down. For example: “We do homework between the hours of 4pm and 6pm in our home.” This way she understands that we do homework first and then play with our friends or go out. Hang this up where you can all see it. When she asks if her friend can come over after school, just point to the agreement and remind her that we are not going to do that because our agreement is that homework gets done first and then we play with friends.

3. Chunk out homework into bite size pieces. Break larger tasks into smaller more manageable steps. This is a wonderful skill that can help them now and well into the future.

4. If your child needs breaks to help them remain focused build them into the homework time and use a timer if need be. For example: For every 20 minutes of homework you do, you and I will play one game of UNO, Tic Tac Toe, do 20 jumping jacks etc.

5. Consider getting a tutor. At times it is necessary to recognize that we are not the best people to help our girls but a tutor or even a babysitter can get the job done. Sometimes when we take ourselves out of the equation we encounter less power struggles as a result.

6. Step out of the room or stay in: Depending upon what stage your girl is in she might benefit from your support in the room a little more. If she is beginning to spread her wings and become more independent she might benefit from you giving her more space to complete a task on her own, with the ability to ask for your help if need be.

7. Remember that you are the helper and NOT the doer!

Elissa Bowes, MA, ATR-BC, LCAT, a nationally board certified, registered Art Therapist, works with emotionally challenged, and at-risk children, adolescents, adults, and families and as a consultant to organizations throughout New Jersey. Request her FREE report, “Is Your Daughter Driving You NUTS? 10 Things You Must Know To Keep You From Losing Your Mind Or Pulling Out Your Hair In The Process” by visiting www.higherartnj.com .